The two things that Comedian Luenell and I have in common is that you will always get the truth out of us and we will always keep it real and that is why our 20 minute interview turned into an hour long conversation.  My homegirl from the Bay Area (Oakland to be exact) has no problem letting you know exactly how she feels and that is what I love the most about it.  She took some time out of her personal time to chat with me about her current and upcoming projects and she pulled no punches.  I've never laughed so hard in all of my life and this was most definitely the funniest interview I've ever conducted and I'm sure it's one that you won't want to put down.

SHEILA: Luenell girl, I'm so glad to be talking with you.

LUENELL: I'm in the rural-est of the rural-est backwoods of the backwoods of Arkansas at a family reunion.  I am with first, second and third cousins, Nieces, nephews, sisters, brothers, the whole bunch.

SHEILA: I attended a family reunion in Georgia a couple of weeks ago (shout out to the Mitchell family of Lake Charles, LA) and girl, I got home and had to take some Total Cleanse!

LUENELL: Girl, I said I was gonna get a cleanse.  I done already ate a half a cow.  If I eat one mo damn collard green…

SHEILA: LOL.. I hear you.  So do you live West?

LUENELL: I reside in Crenshaw.  I love being in the hood.  Out there, they are active in rallies. The oldest black newspaper is right down the street.  I can go down on 58^th over to Granny's for some soul food.  If I wanna see the niggas, they are right there.

SHEILA: So did you grow up in the hood in Oakland?

LUENELL: I grew up in the suburbs.  My parents raised me in a really nice neighborhood.  Now I want to stay connected to the hood. This shit helps my comedy. 

SHEILA: Do you have kids?

LUENELL: I got one daughter. She's 10.

SHEILA: Is her daily life full of laughs?

LUENELL: Yes and activity.  I don't have her during the school year.  She has a wonderful father and grandmother that take care of her educational needs while I'm out on the road.  She is with me during breaks and she's privy to all of the perks of what I do.  She went on the road with me and Katt Williams. She gets all of the autographs, limo rides and shit like that.

SHEILA: Does that make her the most popular in school because my kids have no problem telling their friends "My mama knows such and such"?

LUENELL: Yes but she is anyway.  She's got that personality. She's really down to earth and super smart.  I'm always saying to people, what the hell kind of child you thought I was go have, some kind of demon seed?  Shit, my baby's all good!

SHEILA: LOL.  You are so funny.

LUENELL: I'm not by any means the funniest one in my family.  I'm just the only one that found a way to make money doing it.  I have an extremely funny family.  Hold on Sheila.

Luenell puts me on hold and I hear the following conversation between her and a family member:

LUENELL: What?  I'm on the phone doing an interview?

Person in background:  I don't give a shit if you doing a interview.  We fit'na go to the store and get this vodka.

LUENELL: Yawl getting the Vodka?

Person in background. Yeah, we fit'na go

LUENELL: Well go on then.  I'm on the damn phone!

LUENELL: Sorry girl, they going to get the drink and I'm on the phone.

SHEILA: No problem.  Look it seems like I've been hearing your name a lot more this year than I really had in the past.  Is it cause you're doing more projects?

LUENELL: Really?  Well, I've been revamping myself.  I always have been popular but I haven't always been able to handle the popularity.  I've been working steadily for 20 years to get the ball rolling and I'm almost at the peek to getting where I want to be.

SHEILA: Well, let's chat a bit about your acting.

LUENELL: I got a film that's coming out November 3^rd.  It's called Borat. That's what we call it for short.  It's got some other long ass name to it. (Borat: Cultural Learning's of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan). I'm in it with Sacha Baron Cohen better knows as Ali G.  I have a leading role as his love interest.  Girl, I went to Romania.  I was in the stinky bowels of Romania.  I would rather be in an outhouse in Arkansas than in Romania any day.  I was there for 6 days and I stayed at the top of the line hotel. I was at the Grand Marriot.  This movie was filmed in a very rural area and I was glad what that shit was over.

SHEILA: I bet that was tough.

LUENELL: You don't know the half.

SHEILA: What else are you doing?

LUENELL: I did an Indy film for Van Elder called Divine Intervention.  There's a bunch of well knows in there.  James Avery from the Fresh Prince, that fine ass Laz Alonzo

SHEILA: Yes, he is two kinds of fine.

LUENELL: Roz Ryan.  Remember her from Amen?

SHEILA: Yep.

LUENELL: Cynda Williams from Mo' Better Blues and Renaldo Rey.  I did another movie called Spring Break Down where I played Hooker # 2.

SHEILA: LOL. Get outta here.

LUENELL: No lie. On the credits, it will say Hooker #2.

SHEILA: So is being on stage more of a passion than acting?

LUENELL: Acting is work.  On stage, I get to have the control. With acting they had you this script and you say and do what they want you to do. It's cool cause you get a check but on that stage, I do what I want to do. I wear what I want to wear and I say what I want to say.  No one can direct me.  I do things from my life and it's not difficult for me.

SHEILA: People always say to me that I'm funny and I should go on stage and I'm like "Is you crazy?  I could never do that!"

LUENELL: You know it gets on my nerves when people say "I can be a comedian."  I say Nigga, can you be a comedian when your child is sick?  I've done shows in the dark, In rehab, in Senior centers. I might be on the Chitlin' circuit one night and at the Jewish center the next.  I can even clean it up a bit and do comedy in the church.

SHEILA: Do you do gospel gigs?

LUENELL: I don't get as many church invites as I'd like to.  They see my show and don't think that I can switch it up.  I can clean my shit up if I need to.

SHEILA: So where are you at with it right now?

LUENELL: I'm on tour with Katt Williams. I'm off for 5 weeks.

SHEILA: I love him. He's so damn funny.  Me and my friends recite his lines from Friday After Next all the time.

LUENELL: He is funny as hell. That's my nigga. He's the one that came back and pulled me in.  The only nigga that did that.  When we are out, he gets three standing ovations. One when they introduce him, one when he walks out and one when he leaves. Me, I get two.  One when they introduce me and then when I hit the stage I hear "Ohhhhhhhh, that's her."  They never remember my name.  They know the face but not the name.

SHEILA: I would think that your name would be easy to remember. Hell, it's only one name.

LUENELL: That's right.  It's one damn name.  I'm not giving no damn credit to my ex-husband nor my family.  I got them on gag order and I play to pay all them niggas off real soon.

SHEILA: LOL. Girl, you crazy!  I told Miss Laura that I can't wait to see this film yawl got together.  I didn't even realize that the two of you were so close.

LUENELL: Me and Laura dun been to the same jails together.  We have slept on the same floor together.  We dun been broke at the same time.  We have been through a lot together.

SHEILA: So what made yawl do this documentary?

LUENELL: Girl, Laura got that damn camera and she aimed it at me cause we were together everyday and we just started venting.  I'm the broad and she's the brains. I'm just the loud nigga.  You got to ask her all the questions about what's going on cause girl I don't know shit else.  Once I said what I said, I left the rest up to her.

SHEILA: With all of your fame and popularity, do you have men approaching you a lot while on the road?

LUENELL: Girl, I so welcome a groupie. I been on a dry spell and not by choice.  I be praying "Lord, I got a lot of orgasms left in me".  I say in my shows that I'm the hoe on this tour.  I have no problem whatsoever with a one night stand and girl I gets no bites.

SHEILA: Why do you think that is?

LUENELL: Cause these niggas is scared!  They say "You go talk about it in your show" and I say You mutha fuckin' right I'm go talk about cause that's what I do. If you are with a sculptor, you are gonna get some clay on you.  If you are with a painter, you are gonna get some paint on you.  If you are with a comedian, you are gonna get talked about.  If you slanggin' it and puttin' it on me then I'm gonna hit that stage and say this nigga in Atlanta put it on me last night! But if you are a weak weenie limp dick ass nigga that ain't shit, I'm gonna hit the stage and talk about your ass. I'm a pimp and that's what these niggas need to know cause I don't need nothing from them except for tonight. I need a nigga that is gonna hit it every time I bend over to tie my shoes. I don't need a companion.  I need some dick!

SHEILA: Well damn Luenell, now I see why they scared. LOL

LUENELL: Girl, these damn mosquitoes out here ain't no joke. I left my perfume at home and I'm wearing deep woods off.

SHEILA: So tell me, how do you know Eugenia Wright (ISA Public Relations - http://www.isapublicrelations.com)?  

LUENELL: I met Eugenia at the Black Music Awards and girl, that thang was a complete and utter disaster.  It was an unorganized mess. I was supposed to be a presenter.  Sheila I tell you this shit was the Soul Plane of an awards show and I was the only person that would come out and say it so she approached me and said that I made the evening a lot of fun.  I told her that when I get shit right I would find her and have her represent me and when I did, I called her up.

SHEILA: How long have you been in the game?

LUENELL: 20 years.

SHEILA: So what inspires you?

LUENELL: Hummm.  That's a good question.  I love true laughter.  I don't want people to be sad because I've had so much sadness in my life.  I just want people to be happy.  In the end, I'm gonna have it my way!

SHEILA: Well girl, you inspire me and I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.

LUENELL: Sheila girl, thank you.  Be sure and keep in touch.

SHEILA: I sure will. Have fun in Arkansas and tell everyone hello.

For more information and updates about Luenell, visit her website at http://www.heyluenell.com or on Myspace at http://www.myspace.com/heyluenell